The past couple of weeks has kind of rocked the world around me. As the virus spreads everyone is learning how to live a “new” normal. The word “new” shouldn’t be new to me. Over 5 years ago I was plunged into a “new” normal….not by choice. This virus was man caused and because of that, many are living in ways they never thought life would be. Maybe thinking their freedom has been squashed, snuffed out, controlled, _______ (fill in the blank). We have been raised to be free thinkers and doers…that is now being challenged. Or is it?

This last week I was in a really ungrateful place. Looking at what I didn’t have (which by the way isn’t much) or couldn’t do, like shop, GO to church, be amongst a crowd of my choosing. I’m not ashamed of my self for these but I am learning just what all these truly mean. I miss my family, but there is a phone, FaceTime, email, facebook, instagram…ummm getting the picture here. This draws me to thinking about way back…maybe 30 years ago. Did we have all this? Was this a part of our normal. Don’t get me wrong….I’m extremely amazed at how our technology has improved and grown…but to what expense (not $$$$) but socially, economically, personally, relationally, workforce. I’m thankful for the internet (I wouldn’t have this blog, or the ability to type my thoughts for the world to see…haha). But did you know that there is so much activity on the internet that it’s slowing everything down….then where would we be? Yup…back to 30 years ago, only the phone ( that was land line only) and an extremely slow computer ( the internet was a twinkle in someones eye). Wow, we’ve come a long way baby!! (I know my age is showing).

Someone posted somewhere they believe the birds have gotten louder….maybe we can actually hear them now that the noise has slowed. Or maybe we are actually listening because we don’t have something or someone else in our ears (notice I didn’t say head because I’m still in my head screaming at times… 🙂 There is a talkative bird that perches itself on a tree outside one of my windows…it talks, sings whatever….it’s fun to just stop and listen. This is not a small bird…it’s actually quite big but the music it plays brings peace to my heart and soul. The concert is over when it flys away but as long as it is on it’s perch I’ll listen (freely and by choice). What have you stopped to listen to, look at, notice???

The way I understand it the fix to this virus is time and space. Am I wasting time by being ungrateful, complaining, discontent, looking for a formula to fix all this…Yes. What am I doing in the space God has graciously given me? For me my normal hasn’t changed all that much.I have discovered a new, old craft I’m thoroughly enjoying. I was craving a hug so I found one by a dear, sweet, friend who I trust greatly. Yup….a real hug. God knew my heart and soul needed it.

I really don’t want time to speed forward too quickly. I pray for those who are struggling to just take a breath, our healthcare professionals who are working their butts off due to our inability to take advise and stay home (I’m of the camp that maybe we need a lot less anyway). I was married to a man that if he sat still for 20 minutes I questioned if there was something wrong with him, being still were dirty words to him. Hi body would start twitching if he was still. My normal is being still, listening, walking slower, and being ok with all that. It’s hard, I know. But for such a time as this, it’s necessary.

What’s our “new” normal going to look like? Will we as a country move quickly forward to get to where we were? Or will we stay the course, keep the pace, look at where we’ve come, and continue to improve. Our economy will bounce back, the world is not ending…just changing. Change is not bad….difficult and necessary. There are times the old has to be thrown out so the new can enter in.

I’m walking through a devotion written by Dr. Alicia Chole Britt, 40 Days Of Decrease. Her tag line is “A Different Kind of Hunger. A Different Kind of Fast”. She wrote this book in 2016 and the messages throughout this book is speaking louder that before due to the season our world is in today. I’m on the 28th day of fasting, not food but processes, this is a journey. Dr. Britt’s last sentence for todays fast is: “Today consider the restrictions you are experiencing-whether from disease, dysfunction, requirements, or rules. Fast formulas and instead spend time in prayerful discernment asking God to show you the way”.

Here’s my prayer:

God, quiet my mind. Prepare me to receive your words. Calm my soul to receive what YOU would have for me as I walk, live, continue forward. Being still before YOU is a struggle, listening for/to Your, calm, quiet voice requires intentionality. Who’s voice am I listening to? The voice of the world that calls me to not comply, tells me what I need. Or am I allowing God to master my heart and my thoughts to what He wants me to be or do. God you made me, you formed me in my mother’s womb. You knew me before anyone else entered into my life. Forgive me for the times I have rebelled, not followed your direction but my own. You have been with me through so much, I know you won’t abandon me now.

Now I know we all have excuses, justifications, reasons as to why we aren’t still. Kids, animals, spouses, finances, you name it we’ll some up with one. Take it one day at a time, one step at a time. Change can either come fast and furious, or slow and steady. I’ve been through the fast and furious (didn’t like it…survived but just the same didn’t like it) I choose slow and steady, (I have the freedom to choose). Either way, it will happen!!!!

It’s been a while since I’ve journeyed into blog land but when all my social avenues are closed for now, what does one do….turn to blogging.

I feel I’m on Mr Toads wild ride. The path ahead is a little blurry and unknown, for many of us. When thrust into something we never saw coming our world gets topsy turvy and very unsettled.

When I moved from New Mexico to Arizona the one word I kept hearing in my head was “different”. This is how the Lord speaks to me, either one word or a short phrase. Such as walking into 2020 I kept hearing “Eyes Wide Open”. So here I am today walking with eyes wide open to a different world. And different it has been….everything. New beginnings can be rough but throw in world hysteria and oh my. As an introvert by nature and an extrovert by necessity (past life) social distance should be easy (one would think) but that little bit of extrovert is craving human interaction. When I leave my bubble (home) and see people in panic mode, something in my mind separates. It’s like living in a movie…very surreal. However, very real.

When all this started I had no doubt, this is all part of God’s plan. For those of us who are true, deep believers are looking forward to Jesus’s return. God is a very ordered God. He doesn’t do things on a whim, he’s calculated, planned, very timely (His time, not ours), just, purposeful and so much more. His ways are not our ways, God is His own person, he does know what’s happening; he does know what he’s doing. Now comes our part…Trust, faith and maybe a little pixie dust…to get us through.

So for now, I’ll stay in my bubble, not worry where my next meal will come from (my kitchen or take out), or what happened to all the TP???, be aware of my surrounds…but not saturate myself with media drama (some is good but too much is not), and pray….a lot. Different=yes, eyes wide open=yes, scared=absolutely not.

Let the peace of God reign in our lives. God will heal our land, when we finally turn from our wicked, unruly ways, and seek Him in truth, trust Him with our whole hearts and not respond in fear.

God has provided for me in ways no person ever could, emotionally, financially, carried me when I thought I just can’t take another step, He’s cried with me and I think at times for me. He’s stood by me when others couldn’t handle my grief. I’m not about to start doubting Him now. He is here and only a breath away.